As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
