im having a threesome with these popsicles
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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