I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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