discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
