Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize