smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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