I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
