Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
