No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize