I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just gift wrapped bread.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
