I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
