Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
