i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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