All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
