Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
