I'm pants shitting drunk right now
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
