i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
