Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
