I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
