that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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