He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
