their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
