So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
