Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
