she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
