Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
