I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
