porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
