It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
