It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
