They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
