porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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