is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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