Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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