Dual....:-)
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
