Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
