"it" just moved
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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