just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
