he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
