How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
