ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you still have your period?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She needs sedatives and a leash
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
did i just pee glitter
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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