dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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