Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
