i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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