im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
