It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm like, not good at living.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
