this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
