Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
