i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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