we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
