you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
