I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
