nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
