Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Randomize
