why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
