i may or may not be watching the land before time
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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