i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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