Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
