Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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