Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
